


gentleness, despite the abundance of violence

by vulcanistics



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gangs, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 18:44:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12463635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vulcanistics/pseuds/vulcanistics
Summary: When Kimi walked away from the Scuderia gang, he thought he'd walked away forever. He was wrong.





	gentleness, despite the abundance of violence

**Author's Note:**

> \- hello, i haven't written in forever and this is actually a draft that i just edited and changed. i'm posting it so that i'm motivated to study for my exams and write some more after it.  
> \- i apologise for any grammar and spelling errors, i very speedily proof-read it.  
> \- anyway, wow i last posted an f1 fic in 2014? and i've never actually written simi prior to this, but i hope you guys like it.  
> \- title is inspired by richard siken's poem "snow and dirty rain"

 

Kimi Räikkönen was not impressed by the punk kid who has been tailing him for the past week. Kimi had managed to get a glimpse of his face twenty-five times over the course of seven days, which was frankly, terrible shadowing work on the kid’s part.

It was unusual that the Boss would replace Felipe Massa with someone so clumsy. Scuderia was better than that, and if this was the protection they were placing him under, well then, Kimi was worried about the state of affairs in Scuderia. Except nobody at the bar had mentioned anything about shit going down at Scuderia. As far as Kimi knew, all was quiet in the world. Which brings him back to the fact that Scuderia had replaced Felipe with someone who looked like he was barely out of university.Felipe had been good at his job.

Felipe never announced his presence by accidentally kicking a garbage can or by cooing at stray cats and dogs, and Felipe would most certainly not have allowed himself to be cornered by Kimi in an alley.

 

* * *

 

Kimi takes a drag of his cigarette as he studies the kid standing against the wall. He wasn’t as young as Kimi had expected - he'd thought he was going to take down a freakin’ teenager, except this kid seemed older. He was in a denim jacket which had a prancing horse applique stitched on the left side of his chest, just above the heart. Kimi's eyes lingered on the Scuderia emblem before shifting his gaze to this boy's face.

“What’s your name?” Kimi asks and the boy smiles brightly at him.

“That’s not important now, is it, Mr.Räikkönen?”

Kimi blinks, “You’re German?”

“German-Mauritian.”

“Where’s Felipe?”

The boy shrugs and stuffs his hands into his pockets, “Reassigned.”

Kimi frowns at his response and takes a step forward. Reassigned could mean many things.

He doesn’t know what weapons the kid’s hiding on his body, but Kimi has a knife strapped to his left leg and a gun in its holster. He’ll use it if he has to.

“Listen, kid, Felipe was meant to make sure I don’t talk about the Scuderia and that no one harms me, so, I’ll ask you again. Where is Felipe? Reassigned or dead” To his credit, the boy doesn’t shrink at the veiled threat.

“He’s been reassigned.”

“Why?”

The boy shrugs and grins cockily at him, “I don’t know. You should probably ask the Boss.”  
  
Kimi suddenly feels an inexplicable urge to get out of there, to leave, to pretend he never spoke to the kid. It’s his brain telling him to forget it, it's not worth it. He closes his eyes and thinks about the Scuderia and the reasons he left. Making contact with the kid was a bad idea.

He opens his mouth to say something when someone coughs at the entrance of the alley and walks towards them. He stops in the shadows and Kimi squints at the figure, trying to make out his features in the dark.

“Pascal,” Kimi’s eyes widen, he’d recognise that voice anywhere. The boy standing next to Kimi goes still and stands straight as the figure continues, “I’ll handle this.”

Kimi drops his cigarette on the ground and lets his hands drop to his sides. Sebastian steps into the light and it feels as though someone has punched him in the stomach. He can feel his fingers trembling and he blinks twice to try and regain composure. It’s been seven years since he last saw Sebastian. The faint moonlight around them settles on Sebastian. It has always been like this, Kimi thinks. Light has always followed Sebastian around. Sebastian’s blond hair falls over his forehead in curls, crowning him with a halo. Kimi has never been a poet.

“Hello Kimi,” says a grinning Sebastian, “I've missed you.”

Kimi’s response dies in his throat as Sebastian wraps his arms around him. He stiffens as Sebastian presses his face into his neck and giggles. Kimi breathes out. Sebastian’s hand lingers on his waist as he pulls away from him. He tilts his head and looks at Kimi. His eyes are hidden behind a pair of bright red sunglasses but Kimi still feels Sebastian’s eyes giving him a once-over. Kimi’s glad he’s also wearing his black sunglasses because they’re the only sort of protection he has against Sebastian right now. His own reflection looks back at him from Seb’s sunglasses.

Kimi feels terribly underdressed in his hoodie and jeans when he realises that Seb is wearing a black three-piece suit, with a white shirt and a red pocket square Kimi raises his hand to brush few curls of hair out of Seb's face.

“Trim your hair. It’s too long,” He feels his cheeks flush when he realises that Pascal is watching them curiously. Sebastian nods curtly at Pascal and the kid only smiles and runs off.

 

Kimi instantly regrets Pascal’s speedy exit because now he’s alone with Seb and he has no idea what to say to someone he hasn’t seen in seven years.

“What have I told you about smoking?” Sebastian grumbles as he uses the heel of his shoe to grind the life out of Kimi’s fallen cigarette.

There is a packet of cigarettes in the pockets of his jeans but Sebastian doesn’t need to know that.

 

Kimi remembers a sixteen-year-old upstart telling him to quit smoking like it had happened yesterday. The fury and worry in Sebastian’s voice as he’d held Kimi’s gun in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Kimi had been teaching him how to shoot a gun. Sebastian had completely derailed the session to rant about smoking and cancer. Kimi remembers ruffling Sebastian’s hair affectionately.  
  
Kimi rolls his eyes and ruefully looks at the cigarette, “No smoking.”

“But you never listen to me.” Something in Sebastian’s voice that makes Kimi feel that familiar twist of uneasiness - emerging like wisps of smoke from a chest Kimi had kept locked up for years.

“Sometimes” is all he says. Kimi wants to say more, wants to steer the conversation away from him and Sebastian. He has questions - Why was Felipe reassigned? Why were Pascal and Seb shadowing him? What did the Boss want? Why is the Scuderia making contact with him again?

“The Boss is making two people shadow me?”

“Something like that.”

“At least, you’re better than that kid. I never saw you.”

“I didn't want you to, not unless it was on my terms, not until I saw fit. Besides, I had an excellent mentor-slash-teacher-slash-friend who taught me. But I'm sure I don't need to remind you about how he walked away.” Sebastian is still smiling at him but his every word is a double-edged sword. Kimi doesn't remember this version of Sebastian, whose warmth disguises his sharpness, but he's not surprised by it. Kimi feels a headache coming on. 

Seb makes a small humming sound as he smoothes his suit, "You left and my heart broke, but I worked hard and learnt more and did pretty  well.”

“I can see that,” Kimi says sincerely.

He can still remember the devastation in Sebastian’s eyes when Kimi told him he was leaving forever, followed by the anguished sobbing as Sebastian begged him not to leave. Sebastian had kissed him for the first time that night - furious and greedy and desperate - and Kimi had known that he needed to leave. For Sebastian's own good.

  
Sebastian snaps his fingers in front of Kimi’s eyes, “You're spacing out. I can tell.”

Kimi blinks once. “Why did the Boss put you and that amateur kid on my trail?”

Seb smirks, “First of all, his name is Pascal Wehrlein, and secondly, one of the best shadows in the Scuderia.”

Kimi snorts, “Bullshit. I knew he was following me the moment he replaced Felipe.”

“He did exactly what he was told to do,” Sebastian replies calmly, with a trace of amusement in his voice. It takes Kimi 4.3 seconds for him to understand the implications of Sebastian's words. Pascal wasn't being a subtle shadow because he wanted Kimi to notice him.

“And he sent you as well - the full fucking cavalry,” Kimi mumbles to himself.

When he'd told the Boss why he wanted to leave the Scuderia, he'd let him go with a fond hug and a shadow for twenty-five years. Those were the Boss’ conditions - he could leave but he could never open his mouth about the Scuderia, and there would always be a Scuderia member making sure he kept his word. Typically, nobody could leave the Scuderia unless they died or were killed, but the Boss had made an exception for Kimi. 

Kimi groans and crosses his arms, “What the fuck does Michael want?”

The smile fades from Sebastian’s face and his shoulders tighten, “Huh. You really have been gone for seven years.”

“Yeah.” Kimi watches curiously as Seb removes his sunglasses and fiddles with them, “Seb?”

“Michael retired from the Scuderia sixteen months back.”

Kimi gapes, “Is that allowed?”

“I mean, nobody can leave the Scuderia, but you did. And he's Michael - he can do whatever he wants. He met someone and he moved with her to an undisclosed location.”

Kimi presses his fingers against his temple. If he hadn't confronted that damn kid, he would have been at home by now. Kimi sighs, maybe he'd made a mistake to believe that he had truly left the Scuderia.

“Okay then, what does Fernando want from me?” 

“You think Fernando’s the new boss?” Kimi stares at Sebastian who is looking at him with narrowed eyes.

“He was being trained for it? Everyone thought that Alonso would eventually take over.” 

“I thought the Scuderia men who visit your bar would have told you by now.” There's a tinge of bitterness in Sebastian's words and Kimi honestly feels like the rug has been pulled out from under his feet. 

“Seb, they tell if I ask and I don't ask. I don't care about the Scuderia.”

Sebastian twirls his sunglasses in his hand and glances up at the night sky, “ Pity then, that the boss still cares about you.”

Kimi grits his teeth, what was Seb playing at and why was he being deliberately cryptic? “Who replaced Michael then? Who's the new Boss of Scuderia?”

Sebastian smiles brightly, his eyes crinkling up, “I am.”

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> \- you can find me on [tumblr](http://kayhavertz.tumblr.com)  
> \- i'd love to receive comments/critique/kudos. thanks for reading.  
> 


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